There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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