just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
