Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Randomize
