Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Did I show you my penis last night?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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