Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
