my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
