Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
