I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
