His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
we should paint friendship bongs
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
