It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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