My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
