Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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