Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
