i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize