By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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