D3 body, D1 cock
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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