there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
