where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My cat gives me a boner
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
