"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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