So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
