Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
