sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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