covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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