It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
