are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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