With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
