my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
All I want is dick and wine.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
