His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My pussy is not your playground.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
