so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
