god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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