What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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