i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
