The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
