We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
