a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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