And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
