On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
