I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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