i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
that's an acceptable place to lick
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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