Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Even the bartender felt bad for me
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
