My friends, they love my intelligence
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
