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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
