There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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