We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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