he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
