he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize