She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
