kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
