Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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