fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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