yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
