Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
