i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
