this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize