I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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