he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He passed out mid-signature
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
