Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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