Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
