i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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