Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize