We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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