If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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