my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
