I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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