her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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