Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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