I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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